No Good Deed: Tiny Step #3 I Am Not A Flasher!

Since publishing  my story more than one person has asked me if it is true that I was asked to resign because I flashed someone at school. The insanity of this question is mind boggling, yet several versions of this story have been shared. Shortly after my resignation a former student who was living in France emailed me to ask if this was true. Her version had me on a stairwell.  I was asked again just this weekend, by a former district employee if this was true.  This time I was on the catwalk, a glass hallway connecting the two buildings at Concord High. The parts of my body I was allegedly flashing also vary depending on the story teller. I spent  all of my teaching and coaching career encouraging  young people, especially young girls to self-advocate, to stand up for themselves, especially when it came to boys and relationships.  Based on my experiences as a Concord High School student it was a very personal mission for me. To be accused of something so totally against what I stand for was crushing. I will also point out here that nowhere in all of the evidence put together by the district is any “flashing incident” even mentioned. It didn’t happen, it doesn’t exist. The closest thing to it was a report that I had danced around in front of the windows of my classroom, which I did on several occasions. They went from the floor to the ceiling. They begged to be danced in front of. I can assure you there was nothing provocative or naked about these “dances”.

I wrote previously that I had taken a medical leave. In a May 10th email from me to Gene Connolly  I shared with him that taking time off would feel like a failure to me. I also shared a visit I had with my therapist listing my stressors. One of them was the Frazel divorce and related school allegations. I have a  well documented trail of harassment by Aimee (Frazel) and Bob Mosher. I had testified, and been asked to provide written testimony in her divorce case. Each time I did, there would be something at school. Gene would call me down and tell me he had received an “anonymous complaint” or there would be a “student” who voiced a concern. My husband would get a nasty voice mail. Someone would call his business looking for his number. In the fall of 2009 I had gone to the CHS Resource Officer for help. He knew right away who Aimee was and warned me to be careful. I did not get this support from the administration. By 2010 I could predict a “complaint” and actually did so in an email dated July 23rd 2010. Aimee and Bob Mosher’s visit to Chris Rath complaining about my misuse of email was the first in a series of meetings and accusations that took a 21 year unblemished record and decimated it in just three months.

The Frazel divorce became final sometime in late June/early July of 2010. I remember reading it and telling Roy Frazel that “something bad is going to happen to me now”.  On July 23rd I received an email from Gene asking me to come in for a meeting with Chris Rath about a student complaint.  Since I had not been in school since early May I was befuddled.  In an email to him I suggested the complaint may have come from the Mosher’s. When I arrived at the meeting on July 27th, 2010 I was proven correct.

Chris Rath had a ream of my emails in front of her. Her face bore an expression I had never seen, pure hatred. Kim Bleier sat next to me as Rath told me I was to remain silent. That she had no interest in hearing what I had to say. Gene said nothing. She then scolded me about my egregious misuse of school email. She was referring to the emails that I had used in my restraining order case 8 months prior. These emails (from the Frazel Guardian Ad Litem) were over a year old. She claimed these emails were public documents (they are not, actually, as they are not created by the school district) and that I had put the district at terrible risk. She claimed they were confidential (they were not). I sat in silence with tears streaming down my face. When it was over I offered an apology, which she accepted. When I tried to explain the stalking and suffering I had endured at the hands of Aimee and Bob I was shushed. In a written summary from Chris about that meeting I was told if I tried to retaliate I would face disciplinary action. Although it was clear I had not “misused” email for almost a year I was admonished not to do so. I had been told by the judge at my restraining order attempt if the Mosher’s did anything else to harass me I should return to court. I asked Gene if going to court would be considered retaliation. He told me to ask Chris.  I sent her an email and the response from her secretary was that Chris had no interest in speaking to me.  This was devastating but I was scared, so I did what I was told, which was nothing.

The Mosher’s complaint was July 2010, the emails they were complaining about were all dated 2009. Aimee Mosher possessed her emails for 8 months before bringing a complaint.  It is my belief that this was a convenient start to my methodical removal from the district as the Mosher’s brag to this day about getting me fired. They told a judge that Rath told them I had been inappropriate with students and agreed I shouldn’t be teaching. I have requested Rath’s notes from this meeting and been denied, so I will likely never know, but I’m sure it was ugly. I also doubt Chris would have made such statements. There were also some personal emails she had obviously read. While she did not reference these emails specifically in our meeting, Gene would refer to one in a later meeting. These emails would be very embarrassing to the people mentioned in them. Not just me, but others including a very prominent local business leader. They dated 2008/2009.

About a week after this meeting, in early August Gene Connolly and Steve Mello called me to the school. We met in Gene’s office and as he shut the door and sat down he asked me how I was doing. I told him I was ok, all things considered and looking forward to getting back to school and coaching. I was actually a bit nervous about it and had discussed with my therapist about returning half time and coaching. I never had the chance to present that option. Connolly looked me square in the eye and said “Chris says you are having an affair with that man”. I was dumbfounded. I put my face on the table; I didn’t know what to do. My mind was racing. What were they talking about? Why would Rath say such a thing him? Why would Gene say that to me?  Is this what the meeting is about? Where is my union rep? My mind was racing.

In that ream of email existed perhaps three that Rath had decided indicated a relationship between me and Roy Frazel. This kind of rumor would have devastated my family. Things were bad enough for us and my suffering at the hands of Aimee and Bob had taken its toll. Gene’s statement was humiliating. He was my friend. When he and Steve then “suggested” I “take a year off” from coaching, that they were concerned that I not “come back too fast” I blindly agreed.  I did what I was told. I said yes. A statement out of the blue like that, from a man I cared for and admired was devastating and a violent shake to my foundation.  As I staggered home I was confused and sad. “What just happened?” I asked myself, “Am I really not coaching this fall?” This agreement on my part would prove significant in that I was also removed without explanation as Varsity Club Advisor. I had planned Homecoming all 7 years at CHS. I learned I wouldn’t be planning my 8th in a staff email from Connolly’s secretary Lisa Lamb announcing the “new” Varsity Club Advisor Chrigis Boezeman would be doing it. This was another rumble under my feet, another shift in reality. As school began, the knot in my stomach tightened and grew. Something wasn’t right. That inner voice I strove to get my athletes to trust was talking to me. Shame I didn’t know how to listen.